Welcome to the Year of the Ox
According to the Chinese zodiac, 2021 is the Year of the Ox. The Chinese New Year starts on February 12th, and it will last until January 31st of 2022.
Qualities associated with the ox are hard work, duty, discipline. The focus is on teamwork, logical thinking and responsibility.
The outlook or energy we project has a major impact on the people around us. Sometimes described as an ‘aura’ or vibe, this energy comes from within – how we see ourselves and the world around us.
In psychology this is often referred to as the Locus of Control* – how we view the causes of events in our lives. The two broad categories are internal and external.
Studies show that people with a stronger internal locus of control have greater influence on their motivation and achievement of goals, and are therefore more positive. Those with a stronger external locus of control believe their fate or destiny is controlled by external circumstances.
Can we change this?
Yes, like any new attitude or behavior it takes willingness and practice. It starts with positive language to self and others – changing the word ‘don’t’ into do. #
For example ‘don’t yell’ becomes ‘please speak quietly’, ‘don’t speed’ becomes ‘slow down.’ It is thought this concept originated in childcare – if you say to a child ‘put that down’ it will be much more effective than saying ‘don’t throw that’.
Problems – not that they go away, rather we move on to where we want to go.
Focus on the solution
Dealing with customers who are angry or upset is a normal part of working life for many frontline staff. Using positive language avoids arguing and being stuck.
Anger is an appropriate energy in some situations. For example, I am angry about human trafficking, especially of children. How this energy is expressed is very important. Lack of self control means our anger may harm others. Add the letter ‘d’ and anger becomes danger. It is very important to have awareness of our own anger. Paying attention to our body provides important warning signs. Have you heard the sayings ‘heat rises’ and ‘hot headed’.
Heat rises when we’re angry
Unable to hear
Best to remain silent
Hot under the collar
Therefore, if we are getting hot under the collar, it’s important to pause before opening our mouth as we may not be in control of what comes out. Anger obscures our ability to listen, and we may be unable to hear any form of reason. It reduces our vision and we may not see what is actually going on. This is the same for an angry person we are dealing with – they may have lost control of their senses.
Simple strategies including stepping back, moving away, taking a break, a few deep breaths to re-set the nervous system.